Thursday, May 25, 2006

Britney's Baby Abusing for Nintendo Wii

Now, I may have been critical in the past of the Wii, but I've seen the light! I've realized what exciting gameplay opportunities the Wii opens up for gamers. Screw "Britney's Dance Beat"! "Britney's Baby Abusing" is the Britney licensed game for the next generation. The Wii's unique controller will allow you to recreate all the bad parenting that Britney is known for! "ExciteTruck" is for losers because it doesn't have a license or gameplay innovations. With "Britney's Baby Abusing" you can drive Britney's car with the baby on your lap. Don't steer too quickly or the baby will fall off! All of the baby's falls will be realistically modeled with the rag doll physics you'd expect in a next gen game (or current gen plus game, since the Wii has weak hardware).
There's plenty of fun minigames that take advantage of the unique wii-mote controller design. You can try and balance the baby on one hand because you need to take care of your precious drink with the other. This uses the the motion sensing functions of the wii-mote. You can go high chair shopping and buy the most unstable and cheap ones because money is tight. Using the mouse like functions of the wii-mote, you have to put makeup on your baby to cover up the bruises when Department of Children and Family Services makes one of their frequent visits.
This is the must purchase game for the Wii! This is the game that will give people a real reason to buy a Wii. Babies are far too precious for most people to abuse in real life, so you can live vicariously through Britney and her bad parenting!


Anonymous SoulBrotherRool said...

Hahaha. The final boss can be a mother and father fight with Brittany and dirt stache...I mean K Feds.

12:26 PM  
Anonymous jubal_harshaw said...

I think the time is right for a sequel to this game - K-Fed's Magical Money Hunt - a series of fantastic minigames where Kevin has to demean himself in a variety of tricky ways to afford his trailer.

I was thinking that one of the minigames could be, like your idea, a balancing act with the wii controller. You have to balance K-Fed's potential for fame, fortune and adoring fans on the one side with the gruesome reality that he has no discernable talent and the fact that his meal-ticket has just left, on the other.

Sounds like a winner to me.
Wait, why am I even discussing this with you? I'm off to Electronic Arts, pronto!

7:20 AM  

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