Secret to Getting Places in the Games Industry

Want a cushy job where you don't have to do any work, or the quality of your work doesn't matter? Just make a name for yourself! How do you do that? Many people try and get ahead in this industry, but they go about it in the wrong way. Rather than doing productive work, you need to devote your career to self promotion and taking credit for other people's productive work. This is probably true in any industry, but at least in games, the APPEARANCE of doing work is much more important than doing ACTUAL work. Think about it – if you're actually doing work, it can get overlooked. You'll be the unsung hero of the game, yes, but who wants to be unsung? You don't get anywhere by being unsung! Get sung! In fact, devote yourself to singing your praises.
Create a blog (similar to this one) and assert that you are the greatest thing to happen to this industry since the joystick (or gamepad depending on your controller preferences)! Hire a publicist to manage your image and to assist in getting the word out about how great you are... Maybe you should even do interviews, Game Developer talks about how all the smart things you “did” on your last game and a 1up.com blog. (Incidentally, my 1up.com blog just points to this one) Let's face it! The content doesn't matter. As long as you've hyped up your involvement in whatever games you may or may not have worked on, they'll be plenty of people to eat up your every word!
If we want to make more celebrities in this industry (which of course we do! Then we could have our own Oscars!) then we need more names! And the only way you get a name is by bragging! So, this is my message to all you game developers out there! Stop doing work and start taking credit for it! You'll find it's a lot more rewarding that way!