Friday, October 13, 2006

Message Boards: The Best Source for the Industry Secrets

I've heard the next Splinter Cell iteration after Double Agent is going to be Xbox 360 exclusive, so I was curious if Playstation 3 was getting Double Agent. I did a quick search, and didn't read anything definitive except IGN said back in January that Ubisoft hadn't announced it. With the game coming out this month, potential Playstation 3 owners might wonder if there is a PS3 release around the corner. As it turns out, that was the case because at the bottom of the page, there was a link to the message boards entitled "Any chance for PS3 release?" I figured someone had already found out the truth, and posted it, so I was relieved my relatively brief search for knowledge was over. In looking for the answer, I found this little nugget of truth:
"I hate Sony. They're so competitive when Microsoft is humble. It's like MGS [Metal Gear Solid] being so competitive and copying everything Splinter Cell, when SC is doing their own thing and not fighting back. It's like a metaphor for Ghandi."
I had no idea that Mahatma Ghandi similar to a very successful software company that is often getting sued for their competitive business practices. I also had no idea that Metal Gear Solid (made by Konami) and Splinter Cell (made by Ubisoft) had anything to do with Microsoft and Sony, but apparently, I was incorrect. Apparently, Sony was behind it all copying Splinter Cell in Metal Gear Solid, and Microsoft told Vivendi to take it. After a little more searching, I stumbled on this amazing secret:
"It is to expansive to make games only for one gameing system even Halo is being shiped to ps3 dont belive me call and ask.360 is getting assassins creed too so ya its comeing out for ps3.Dont get me rong I hate Sony but hey its the truth."
Now, that statement is unintelligible gibberish to most who don't frequent message boards. Luckily, I've read enough nonsense on message boards, so I can understand this bastardization of the English tongue. Here's a translation:
"It is too expensive to make games only for one gaming system. Even Halo is being shipped for PS3. You don't believe me? Call and ask. 360 is getting Assassin's Creed too, so yes, it's coming out for PS3. Don't get me wrong! I hate Sony, but hey, it's the truth."
Now that it's been translated into proper English, the truth is revealed! So not only did this industry insider have the scoop on Splinter Cell, but he dropped the bombshell (possibly accidentally?) that Halo is coming out for the Playstation 3! As unbelievable as that sounds, this Bungie deepthroat was so sure of it, that he challenged us to call to confirm that it is in fact the truth. Since he is so sure of himself, I figured I'd take him up on that challenge. Here's a transcript of my conversation with Microsoft:

Me: Hello, is this Microsoft?
Microsoft: Yes, this is.
Me: Hi Microsoft! It's so nice of you to answer you phone.
Microsoft: Don't mention it!
Me: Anyway, I was reading on an IGN message board that Halo 3 is coming to the PS3. Is this true?
Microsoft: Yes it is.
Me: Well, that doesn't make any sense. Why would you want to put your most popular title on the PS3? It would make more financial sense to keep it exclusive to the Xbox 360, since you are a first party after all.
Microsoft: Well, look at it this way – don't you think people who own PS3s want to play Halo 3 also?
Me: Yeah I guess. Are you going to port it to Wii too?
Microsoft: Sure. We love Wii. Wii60 forever!
Me: Don't you think you should be more competitive with your rivals?
Microsoft: Our company is not competitive at all! Our corporate slogan is “What Would Gahndi Do”?
Me: Oh, okay. Thanks Microsoft for your time.
Microsoft. You're very welcome.
Me: Bye Bye!
Microsoft: Later dude!

So, there you have it! Microsoft is porting Halo 3 to the Playstation 3.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet. I was 'gonna buy a 360 for Halo, but now it looks like I can just buy the PS3 (I read it's like 10x as fast as the 360, so I assume Halo will look better) Also, only the PS3 supports 1080p.

Do you have any idea when it will be released for the PS3? Will it be at the same time as the 360 version?

1:14 AM  
Blogger The BIG G said...

The Xbox 360 will support 1080p also with its fall software update. I'm not sure of the specifics, but I'd recommend either calling Microsoft yourself, or asking the insider on the forum. I hope this helps.

-The Big G

1:37 AM  
Anonymous jubal_harshaw said...

Wow, I new it! You knaw, I also heard that Gears fo War wzs ciming out for the PS3 becauz it saz on the Unrael Technolegy site that the latest Untael engen is for 360 and PS3 so there!!!!!

Christ, I need to take a shower now. Eeeeurgh.

7:26 PM  
Blogger The BIG G said...

Jubal: I did hear from a reliable source that Microsoft is like Ghandi, so I wouldn't be surprised if they published it for PS3.

-The BIG G

10:43 PM  
Anonymous jubal_harshaw said...

Obviously Microsoft is like Ghandi - don't you remember the time when good ol' Mahatma started suing his followers for not paying their ProtestXP license fees?

And what about the time that he patented his "Non-violent Civil Disobedience Method" and started sending DMCA takedown notices to those evil pirate organisations that were infringing on his state-mandated monopoly?

Good times, good times..

4:38 AM  
Anonymous jubal_harshaw said...

The rules of Video Game Message Boards:

1. The more urgent and true the message, the greater the spelling mistakes and superfluous punctation!!!!


3. The more ridiculous the claim, the more 'in-the-know' the claimant is. They can't provide you with more information or backup their statements because it would blow their cover.

4. The longer the signature, the larger the penis. If someone has a picture as a signature... well, let's just say that your house is probably built on their reproductive organs. Furthermore, if you post your system specs in your signature, NASA is probably using your schlong for a space elevator.

5. People have names like 'shadowassasin' and 'R1PPA' for a reason - if you argue with them they will creep into your house late one night and murder your dog.

6. The more humorous someone believes they are, the more humorous they actually are. You're not laughing because your sense of humour is inferior.

7. Calling someone 'retarded' but spelling it 'retarted' is the height of self-deprecating irony.

8. Insulting someone is as good as - if not better than - making a cogent and irrefutable rejoinder, you pink-bellied tossbags.

9. Animated smileys are an integral part of modern communication and don't make you seem like a 13 year-old girl whatsoever.

10. Always remember that in this world where terrorists are blowing people up, countless civillians are having their lives destroyed by wars they have no control over and the world may be coming to a watery end, that the most important thing is still whether Metal Gear Solid has ripped anything off from Splinter Cell. And, of course, how ridiculous giant robots are.

11. The PS3 sucks because there isn't any rumble.

12. Your belief in fairness is never, ever misplaced, and can be used to justify your irrational hatred of a competing company. For example: Sony being slow with their new system? Cutting shipments? Changing things (heaven forbid)? Well, that's simple - they allowed Microsoft to ship first so they could learn from their mistakes! Those Japs are damned sneaky!

I hope you've learned a lot from these simple rules. I know I have.

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:44 AM  

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