Friday, December 02, 2005

Professional Gaming is a “REAL” Sport

I don't know if you read Foxsports.com (I certainly don't), but they have this article on the most “feared” people in sports. I noticed Fox Sports has adapted a very interesting definition of sports. It's good that they chose an athlete from my favorite sport (competitive eating), but pro gaming? Fox Sports is the authority on sports, so if they consider a sport, it must be. Let's look up the definition of sport, shall we? According to dictionary.com, the definition is "An activity involving physical exertion and skill that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often undertaken competitively."

Man, moving a mouse sure requires a lot of physical exertion! So, if video games, qualify as sports, I'm hoping they'll make minesweeper an Olympic event. I'm awesome at it! And if we are qualifying video games as sports, why aren't other games? Chess should be a sport then too. It requires just about as much physical exertion as Quake and is just as competitive.

Since video games are now sports, we can have the shameless “athlete” promotion. Just as athletes can promote a product that they know nothing about, so too can professional gamers. Take Jonathan “Fatal-one-ty” Wendel for example. Does he know anything about motherboards? I doubt it. Does buying his motherboards make you a better gamer? Definitely. Just like buying Air Jordan sneakers makes you a better basketball player. The most crucial product that he sells that improves your gaming product is the Sound Blaster X-Fi Fatal1ty FPS. About this product, he says: "When I'm competing I need top-class performance and the most realistic sound to help me know where my opponent is and Sound Blaster X-Fi really delivers for me...there is nothing faster or better. I only put my name on the very best products. If you're a serious gamer, you just have to get one of these!"

If you're a serious gamer that is made out of money or has some sort of money tree, then The BIG G agrees that this is a good purchase... But, $279.99 for a sound card?!?!?! Let's look at the feature set and how it applies to gamers. Firstly, it comes with a remote. That costs extra money, but is very useful for gaming. I play all my games with an IR remote. Secondly, it has 109 db SNR (Signal to Noise Ratio). Now, that means that the noise is 1.26 * 10^-11 times the original signal. If you are a loser with a completely obsolete SoundBlaster Audigy 4, which features 106 db SNR (features a little less than twice as much noise [2.51 * 10^-11]), you need to go upgrade right away. Let's assume that Jonathan “Fatal-one-ty” Wendel is playing the game on 100 Watts. I'm thoroughly convinced that he's such an amazing gamer that he can not only HEAR the noise at 2.5 picowatts, but it also makes him a worse gamer! This is why his endorsement is so valuable. Let's take a look at his statement that there is nothing better. Creative makes the X-Fi Elite pro, which has more features like 116 db SNR and some that only appeal to audio professionals. Despite it has a lot less noise, CLEARLY, IT IS WORSE because Jonathan “Fatal1ty” Wendel says so!

When I become the world's greatest Minesweeper pro athlete, I'll only endorse sound cards with 32 bit audio at 384 kHz and a 200 db SNR because that's what I need to get my best Minesweeper performance. Selling out rules! Incidentally, feel free to contact me for product endorsements. I have as much integrity as “Fatal-one-ty”, so I'll convince people to buy the top of your line regardless of how practical it is.

6 Comments:

Anonymous jubal_harshaw said...

It certainly needed to be said twice, BIG G.

I used to have a Fatal1ty card, but its awesome power was more than its components could contain, so it exploded.
Possibly, it took its own life after a particularly disappointing and depressing Enemy Territory match.
I guess I'll never know.

I had a friend with some Air Jordans, once. However, their awesome Jordan power was just too much for a pair of trainers to contain and, with one mighty leap, my friend was launched into orbit.
For all I know he may still be out there, gently circling the Earth.
I guess I'll never know.

I now stay away from celebrity-endorsed products. It is clear that they are for those much more powerful than I.

The only problem with video games as 'Sports' is that 'Sports' require, well, sportsmanship.
Play a few on-line games and you'll see that this is one thing sorely lacking.

Every time I play an online game, I am assailed by comments like: "omg! u fkn noob," "you gay," and "don't shoot your own team you filthy, pustulent herpes sore."

It's hardly cricket.

6:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are some olympic sports that require lots of skill and dexterity over any sort of muscular fitness. Just look at curling, for example.

If that's the case, than having an official SoulCalibur tournament isn't that far of a stretch, and having people deathmatch each other infront of a live audience would not only be within the current "guidelines", but it would be more interesting to watch too.

1:45 PM  
Blogger The BIG G said...

Clearly you've never curled before because that stone that they throw is really HEAVY!

-The BIG G

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and you'll notice that they never touch the stone after throwing it, they only shave down the ice infront of it in an effort to get it to stop in a circle. That takes MUCH more skill and dexterity then it does strength.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Note : css = counter-strike:source [a game] Professional Gaming is sometimes considered a sport. a game is a competetive activity involving skill. therefore CSS is a game. a sport is Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules. CSS is physical activity BECAUSE physical activity is recreational or occupational activities that require physical skills and utilize strength, power, endurance, SPEED, flexibility, range of motion, or agility. CSS would utilize speed in the speed you can react, and move your hand to that reaction. Speed is the rapidity in moving, going, traveling, proceeding, or performing; swiftness. CSS uses speed in moving ( hands ). CSS also uses agility : the ability to think and draw conclusions quickly. Professional gaming, css included, is a sport.

4:28 AM  
Blogger Chiropractic Marketing said...

Cricket The Most Popular Game All Over The World & most favorable games for everyone who is gamer around the world. Cricket also enjoyable for children and older human. I think for good health and clear mind games are most needed in a human life. Computer games such as cricket is also enjoyable. Thanks our Cricket team.

7:47 PM  

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